High school graduation is a rite of passage for many but sometimes circumstances prevent students from getting a diploma.
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Hundreds of veterans and military families gathered this morning in Escondido for the County of San Diego 2016 Veterans Forum. They were there to learn about County programs and resources, commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Vietnam War and celebrate the 241st birthday of the United States Marine Corps.
How to Bring Chivalry Back into Your Relationships
Is chivalry dead? Some would say it went the way of the dinosaur! American men often think chivalry is a waste of time but a true woman is often impressed and pleased when a man performs an act of chivalry. Here are 7 ways to impress your favorite girlfriend, mother, grandmother and strangers with acts of chivalry. None of these steps will cost you any money; however, they can earn you some much needed relationship points.
Confidently and with style, allow the woman (or women) to go on and off the elevator or escalator first. Remember, women often wear high heels which can get caught in the stairs or entry ways. If you are behind her, you can be there to help her in case she trips or falls.
At a restaurant, let a woman select what chair she wants to sit in or what side of the booth she wants to sit on. Allowing the woman to go first makes her feel more comfortable and allows you the opportunity to show her that her needs are more important than yours.
Open the door for her and hold it open while she goes into the room or building. Don’t rush to get in before her and don’t shove her out of the way. As women are usually towing children or pets with them, by holding the door open for her, you are showing her kindness and patience.
After an outing, walk her to her front door. Don’t just leave her at the door way to fend for herself. So many women live alone today that coming home to an empty house can be scary. Even if she just lives down the street from you, it is comforting to know someone is watching to make sure you get into the house safely. If you are bringing your date home, walk her to her door and watch while she enters. She may be so impressed that she will invite you in for coffee.
Never let a woman walk to their car alone after dark. After taking a quick survey of the women in our office, this appears to be the scariest time for women. Do your part and escort her until she is in her car and she has the car started. Sitting in a car that won’t start in an empty parking lot is the thing horror movies are made for!
When taking public transportation, allow the woman to board first and select a seat of her choosing. If you are taking a taxi, allow her to get in first and make sure you don’t shut the door on her dress or coat. When exiting a bus or train, let her exit first and be there to give her a hand in case she should slip or trip.
Always walk street side. This means you are both walking together, you should walk on the side of the side walk where the cars are. This way she won’t get splashed by passing vehicles and there won’t be a chance of her getting pushed off the curb and into the street. Just as mother walk on the outside to keep their children safe, men should walk on the outside to keep the women safe.
First published 02/05/2010 on Associated Content/Yahoo
What is the difference between coaching someone and supervising someone? Coaches motivate, teach, inspire, encourage and challenge their staff. Supervisors are often seen as someone with authority over you, interfering and often remote. “Coaching” is preferred over “Supervising”. A coach should consider the reasons behind the poor performance or behavior before approaching the employee. The recommended process for coaching included five basic steps: State, Wait, Remind, Ask and Agree.
State the problem to the employee.
Do not approach the employee while you are upset or unprepared for the conversation. Accusations and condemnations will not give you the results you need. If the employee was late, simply state, “I noticed you were 15 minutes late this morning.”
Wait for a response from the employee.
The key here is to listen to the person without interrupting them. Let them give you their explanation, reasons or excuses, regardless of how silly and off tract they appear to you. Do not speak until the person stops speaking. They may say something as easy as “I know” or their explanation may be a melodrama of about five minutes long.
Remind the employee of the organizational goals.
Tell the employee why it is important that everyone work within the company policies. You can say something such as, “It is important that you be here on time. You are part of an important team that needs you here on time everyday. When you are not here on time, it slows down the rest of the team and things are not accomplished in a timely manner.” Be aware of going off track and stick with the planned statement to prevent the topic from wandering.
Ask the employee to provide a solution specific to the problem being discussed.
This may take some patience…but stick with the topic and gently ask the worker “What can you do to solve this problem?” Give them time to think of a solution, being careful not to interrupt them or let them walk away. Once they walk away, the solution will still be missing and the behavior may very well continue.
Agree on a solution with the employee. Do not terminate the conversation until a solution is agreed between you and the worker. Summarize the conversation. Repeat the observed behavior, state the agreed upon solution and don’t forget to tell the person thank you for their cooperation. If the behavior continues, you may need to have the conversation again, and then include as part of your final step, any disciplinary actions the company may take against the employee.
The key points to remember when coaching anyone is to stay on track, don’t discuss any other problem except the one you are prepared to talk about and listen politely while allowing the employee to think of a solution. Don’t forget to follow up with the employee in a day or two to see how they are doing.
Micromanaging is a management style where the manager of a fully competent team spends time trying to control the details of the work being done by the competent staff, rather than focusing on the tactical responsibilities of the office. Though there are times all managers must dig into the details of an assignment to verify the work is being done properly, excessive detail concern may be a sign of micro managing. This type of micro management style may lead to unhappy and unfulfilled staff members and a decrease in quality work. Here is a list of things you should watch for if you have been told you are a difficult manager with micro managing tendencies.
- You believe that being a manager means you must have more knowledge and skills than your subordinates.
- You believe you can perform all the tasks assigned to your staff better than they can.
- You believed deadlines, quality, responsibility and performance are more important to you then they are to your staff.
- You believed it is more effective for you to do a task than it would be to assign the task to a staff member. Liability for an incomplete project is always a key concern.
- You can always find something wrong with what a staff member has completed and you tend to suffer from a “red pen” syndrome.
- You believe that unlike everyone you work with, you never make mistakes and your work is always better than anyone else could do.
- You don’t allow your staff to learn from their own mistakes as you usually take over when a project is not going well.
- You tend to spend too much time overseeing simple projects in fear that they will not be done “your way”.
- You are “overworked” while your staff is looking for projects to do.
- You are the first one in the office and the last one to go home – always.
- Even on vacation or when you are at home sick, you call the office twice a day (or more) to make sure everything is okay.
- Your team appears to have very little initiative and will not take on new projects without asking you first.
- Your staff is afraid they will fail or will do something incorrectly and therefore they take a great deal of time to complete even the simplest tasks.
- Your workers feel unmotivated, depressed and underappreciated.
- You have been called controlling, judgmental, doctorial or untrusting by family and friends (and sometimes by brave co-workers).
If you agree whole-heartedly to many of the above statements, you may be guilty of micromanaging. There are many things you can do to relinquish your unyielding hold on each project and to allow your staff to grow in confidence and abilities.
- Ask your family and friends their opinions of your communication style.
- Discuss your style with your manager or another supervisor and get their feed back as to how you run your office.
- Something as simple as asking a person to do something and not telling them to do a task may break that hold you have on being in charge at all costs. Give suggestions, not just orders.
- Leave on time at least once a week.
- Be the first one out the door at least one a month.
- Think less about “how” a task is done and concentrate more on the finished product instead. Do not be so quick to judge the finished project.
FBI List of 10 Top Violent Cities of 2016
While surfing on the web today, I came across an article showing the 10 most dangerous cities in the United States of America. I was surprised at some of the cities included on the list so I decided I will share the information with others…and see if they are surprised too. The list rated the cities as to the average number of violent crimes per 10,000 people. So if the city had less than 10,000 people, that city was not included in the list of violent crime averages. Here are the names of the top ten cities and the average number of violent crimes recorded per a population of 10,000 during 2016, as listed by the FBI.
- St. Louis, MO 88.1
- Memphis, TN 84.2
- Detroit, MI 83.4
- Birmingham, AL 82.8
- Rockford, IL 76.3
- Baltimore, MD 67.7
- Stockton, CA 67.4
- Milwaukee, WI 65.3
- Cleveland, OH 61.5
- Hartford, CT 55.8
When is the best time to confront someone about complaints of sexual harassment? NOW!
When you are confronted with a situation where one employee has accused another of sexual harassment, do you know what to do? If you handle a complaint of sexual harassment incorrectly, it can cost your company a great deal of money and may cost you’re your job. Every supervisor must know what to do if an employee comes to you with any type of sexual harassment complaint.
Step 1: All complaints of sexual harassment must be taken seriously. If necessary, contact your HR representative for technical advice as to what the procedures are in your company and what actions to take next.
Step 2: Actively listen to the alleged victim/employee, take good notes and document what is said. Remember; do not make any judgments until you have spoken to both parties. You must be fully receptive to the employee and still be able to listen to the alleged harasser’s version of the events later. Discuss the event with the alleged victim in a private setting.
Step 3: Make a record of the conversation and ask the alleged victim/employee to sign the report. If the employee refuses to sign the report, make a note of that on the document and also make a note that the report was read and understood by the employee. After you get the facts from the employee, discuss the information with your supervisor so they are aware of the situation.
Step 4: Next, you must privately discuss the complaint with the alleged harasser and discuss with them your company’s policy regarding sexual harassment. Discuss the following points: the definition of sexual harassment, the nature of the complaint, state clearly and without question what behavior was unacceptable and what will happen if the behavior is repeated. Include in your discussion that acts of retaliation are not allowed and will be taken seriously.
Step 5: Document the discussion and ask the alleged harasser to sign the document. If they refuse to sign the report, note that on the report, note that the report was read and its contents were understood by the alleged harasser. Make sure they comprehend the seriousness of the complaint.
Step 6: If possible, arrange a meeting with the involved employees and discuss the situation together. You need to make sure there is an equal level of understanding between the employees and explain that the discussion must bring a close to the issue. It is your responsibility to make sure both parties feel the matter is resolved satisfactorily.
Step 7: Within a week or a couple of weeks, privately talk to the employees again and ensure that the issue is resolved and no retaliation has taken place. Share any new information with your supervisor so they are “up to speed” about the situation.
The Federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission defines sexual harassment as, “…unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other visual, verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when (1) submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual’s employment, (2) submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment decisions affecting such individual, or (3) such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individuals work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive working environment.